Fighting the Undertow Read online

  “So, are you saying you don’t have any problem with hanging around tonight, or is a hotel sounding good right about now?”

  Though she twisted around to face him, her forehead crinkled and her eyes took on that vague, lost in thought look. “What would happen if I stayed?”

  “We’d prepare potato salad and other picnic delicacies for tomorrow, listen to loud music, dance a little, drink a lot, laugh, and have a good time. At some point, I’m guessing someone will initiate public kissing and cuddling.” As he recalled last year, when he, Abby, and Jeremy had nearly tumbled off the kitchen counter, he stifled the urge to laugh. “At that point, you could either hang around, or let me know you wanted to leave before things went any further. I guess it’s another one of those ‘one step at a time’ things.”

  Her eyes were wide, and she nibbled her lower lip, but he thought he saw a hint of curiosity.

  “You don’t have to decide now. Think it over awhile.”

  “So you brought me up here just to tell me that?”

  “Nope.” He tugged off his shirt and shorts, stripped off his briefs, and started fussing with the tiny buttons on her blouse. “This is why I brought you up here.”

  By the time he had her naked, she’d straddled his thighs. Good, he wanted her hot and bothered for what he had in mind.

  “I do believe you’re a bit eager, Miss Vee.”

  Good Lord, she was so beautiful in the afternoon light that his breath caught in his throat. When she smiled at him, he fought the urge to throw her on her back, abandon his plans, and take her right then.

  “And you…” She grabbed his cock and let it spring back against his stomach. “Are hard as hell, Mr. Winters. Just what do you intend to do about it?”

  Since he didn’t want to scare her off, he dodged the question. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  First things first. Arranging her on her back, he slid down between her legs and went directly to her clit. With the tasty morsel between his teeth, he nibbled, suckled, and tugged until she bucked against his face and begged him to stop. He paused, allowing her to catch her breath, and then nipped her thigh.

  Pinning her hips with his hands, he dragged his tongue in lazy circles, increasing the pressure as he circled closer to her clit. By the time he reached the center and took the tiny bud in his mouth, she keened her release. He kept sucking until she quieted and went limp under his mouth.

  “Please, Ian, make love to me.”

  Her words nearly melted his heart. Jesus, he’d missed her. Moving up beside her, he brushed his fingers across her cheek. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  With that, he leaned close and took her nipple into his mouth, sucking hard enough to pull the rosy pink areola between his lips. He slid two fingers into her pussy, stroking with the forward motion he knew would drive her wild.

  “Please? I want you inside me.”

  Ignoring her plea, he reached down with his other hand, dragged his fingers through the juices spilling onto her inner thighs, and wiggled a single finger gently into her ass.

  She gasped when he began to stroke and stretch the tense band of muscle, but soon she started to relax, moving slightly against his hand.

  “Not so bad, is it, Miss Vee?”

  He should never have slid his fingers into her ass that night in the water. But at that point, he’d had no idea her experiences had been so limited. Tonight, warm and relaxed in bed, he’d show her anal play didn’t have to hurt.

  “Mmm.”

  Since she seemed willing enough to let him explore, he slid his fingers free, leaned over to tug open the drawer of the bedside table, and grabbed a tube of lubricant and a condom packet for later.

  “What now?”

  He detected a hint of apprehension in her question, and he lowered his mouth to her breast, suckling with a gentle rhythm he hoped would both reassure and arouse her.

  “So good. More.”

  Chuckling, he pulled her onto her side so he could reach her other breast. As he teased his tongue around her areola, he flipped open the cap and squeezed a generous amount of slippery gel onto his fingers.

  As she squirmed under his mouth, he slid two fingers of one hand deep inside her pussy and smeared lube over the rim of her anus with the other. Before she had a chance to get nervous, he slid his forefinger deep into her ass.

  “Oh!” Her exclamation sounded surprised, almost delighted.

  Lifting his head, he smiled. “Feels good with the lube, doesn’t it?” Might as well remind her he’d enjoyed the same experience. If she decided to stick around tonight, who knew what she’d see.

  “Mmm hmm.”

  Setting to work again, he sucked until her nipple hardened to a tight little peak in his mouth, and then shifted to tease the other breast for a while. When her whimpers became groans, he decided to move on to the next step.

  Careful not to slow the rhythm of his suckling, he slid another finger into her ass. She tangled her hands in his hair, pressing his head closer to her breast, and at first she seemed not to even notice the second finger. As he started to separate his fingers, stretching her, she cried out.

  He released her nipple and shifted so his face was close to hers on the pillow. Damp strands of hair trailed across her forehead, and her cheeks were flushed.

  “Was that an ‘It feels good’ yell, or an ‘It hurts’ yell?”

  “Mmm.”

  “Tell me, Val. Tell me what you feel.” If he was going to go any further, she’d have to be comfortable telling him what felt good and what didn’t.

  “It felt sort of strange. But in a good way.”

  Okay, at least that was a start. He took her lower lip into his mouth, suckled a moment, and then pulled away. “I’m going to move my fingers, and I want you to tell me if it starts to hurt.”

  For a moment, she stiffened beside him, and he kissed her until she relaxed. Letting his fingers slide free of her pussy so that he could rest his palm against her clit, he increased the pressure of his fingers in her ass, probing deeper, scissoring them wider apart.

  “Oh. Wow.”

  “Sore?” He eased back a bit and caressed the palm of his other hand across her slippery clit.

  “Not really. Just, different. Tight.”

  “Do you want me to stop?” She needed to know he’d stop if she asked. “I need you to trust me. If you don’t like something, I’ll stop. Just let me know.”

  With a soft whimper, she arched against his palm. “More?”

  “Okay, I’m going to use more lube first, though.” Easing his fingers free, he grabbed the tube and squeezed gel directly between the cheeks of her ass.

  “Shit, that’s cold.” She jerked away as he applied another squirt for good measure.

  Heaven help him, she was gorgeous. He stared at her as he tossed the lubricant back onto the bedside table. Her eyes drooped closed, and her lips curled into a half smile. Her breasts flushed pink where he’d held them, and her nipples were dark and puckered from so much suckling.

  “What?” Opening her eyes, she raised an eyebrow, as if to question his hesitation.

  “Just looking at you. You’re beautiful.” He slid down beside her and captured her lips under his mouth. Determined to take her breath away, to leave her panting for release, he swept his tongue along the line of her gums, then probed deeper, seeking the warmth of her tongue against his.

  Only when she moaned against his mouth, her lips hot from the pressure of his kisses, did he claim her ass, sliding his fingers into the snug corridor. Though he plunged both fingers in at once, she didn’t protest. In fact, she all but purred, arching and relaxing her hips to match his movements.

  For what seemed like hours, he kept at it, driving her higher with his tongue, nipping her lips until she whimpered at the pressure of his teeth on her skin, flexing his fingers wider, easing them deeper.

  “Ian, this feels so good. But I feel like I’m going to burn up if you don’t make love to me.”

  Agai
n, he felt his heart melt. She’d only started to call it that ‑‑ not sex, or fucking, but making love ‑‑ the past couple of days. He guessed it had been her way of holding back, of protecting herself. If you don’t call it loving, then it’s just a summer fling, without the danger of heartbreak at the end. Evidently, she didn’t see any point in pretending anymore.

  He didn’t have words for what he felt for her, but the feelings went deep.

  “Ian?”

  Slowly, he slid his fingers free of the tight channel. A thin sheen of sweat covered her skin where her belly pressed against him, and her breath came in soft little pants. She’d never be any more ready than she was right now.

  “Val…” How did he ask this, tell her what he wanted to try without frightening her? “You liked my fingers in your ass?”

  “Yes. It felt good. Slippery and tight, wet and sort of forbidden.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, I can relate to that.”

  A shiver crept along his spine, and his balls pulled tight against his skin as he remembered the first time he’d had sex with Jeremy. He’d been half crazy with grief for Kevin. Too despondent to say no, or even to care.

  What had surprised him ‑‑ rocked his world ‑‑ was how much he’d enjoyed it. Every tantalizing, burning, oh-so-forbidden stroke of Jer’s cock in his ass. He’d thought those feelings were gone, ripped away the day Kevin died. Human warmth, tenderness, desire, delight… An entire realm of emotions and sensations mingled together with his grief.

  Afterward, Jeremy had held him, stroking his face as if he were a small, frightened child. For the first time since the awful moment the car veered out of control and wrapped itself around a tree, he’d been able to cry.

  “Ian, where are you?”

  “Sorry.” With a shake of his head, he cleared away the memory. “Just thinking. Are you up for something new tonight?”

  “Will I like it?”

  Good question. “I don’t know.” He nipped her earlobe. “But I sure do, and if you don’t, I’ll stop.”

  “Are we talking about anal sex?”

  Oh, yeah! Trying to suppress his enthusiasm, he nodded, waiting for her to decide. Damn, he’d give a lot to know what she was thinking right now.

  “Okay, I’m willing to give it a try.”

  “You sure?” Not something he wanted to do with an uncertain partner.

  “Yes.” She nodded decisively.

  “Come here.” Holding her close, he kissed her and brushed his thumb across her clit until she wiggled away from his hand.

  “No more. I don’t want to come yet.” With that, she flipped onto her belly and reached for his hand, urging him closer.

  “Hang on a minute.” In a matter of seconds, he slid the condom into place and covered her anus with another glop of gel. Careful not to rest his full weight on her, he eased onto her back. “I don’t want this to hurt. Let me know if you’re uncomfortable.”

  “Only in the sense that I’ll die if I don’t come soon.”

  Chuckling, he moved forward, paused to let her reconsider as the head of his cock nudged her anus, and then eased the first inch or so inside her.

  “Oh!”

  “Too much?”

  “No. So tight, though. Hurts some. A bit scary.”

  “You’ll be okay.” As he waited for her to relax, he slid his hand underneath her and teased his fingers through the nest of damp curls.

  “More?” Though her voice trembled, she sounded hungry, needy, and hot.

  “Sure.” Very slowly, he slid in another inch. He paused, teasing her clit with his thumb.

  She held perfectly still at first, her body tense beneath him, and her breathing strained. But as he continued to stroke her clit, she pressed against his hand and uttered a soft humming sound. “I’m okay now. Make love to me, please?”

  Third time she’d asked him today in those same words. Her request loosened a streak of fire down his spine, and he pressed deeper to ease the burn. When she didn’t protest, he slid in farther.

  “Oh, God, Ian. So….” Her breath came in quick little gasps, and he sensed she hovered on the edge. “So…just so…full. Wild. Fucking intense.”

  Before he eased back, he risked another inch, not quite burying his cock, but driving farther than he’d expected to on the first stroke. With every movement, he offered the counterpressure of his cupped hand beneath her mound, sliding his palm against her warm, wet clit. When he sensed a barely perceptible tightening of the muscles along her spine, he eased back and gave her time to adjust before sliding forward again.

  “Faster?”

  Oh, hell, with her urging him on, he’d lose control for sure. “Only a bit. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Since she seemed reasonably comfortable, hell, since she seemed greedy and hungry for more, he settled into a rhythm of steady strokes, letting himself enjoy the heat of her ass and the tight ring of muscle around his cock.

  After a while, she arched to meet his thrusts, her breath coming in soft little whimpers, and he groaned as he pressed deeper, until his balls brushed her ass. With a gasp, he pulled back, determined not to come until she did.

  Which turned out not to be a problem, since with the next stroke, she moaned, tossed her head back so hard it connected with his chin, and clenched around him in a series of spasms so intense, he winced at the pressure.

  As she shifted beneath him and uttered a long, low cry, restless now that she’d come and no doubt overly aware of the unfamiliar pressure in her ass, he drove home one more time and came as she dug her nails into his forearm.

  As soon as he could breathe again ‑‑ once the bursts of color had cleared and he no longer heard the thunder of the ocean in his ears ‑‑ he withdrew and collapsed beside her. With one arm, he reached for a handful of Kleenex and disposed of the condom, and with the other, he traced long, soothing strokes along her spine.

  Sleepy and sated, he glanced at the clock. Only two o’clock. No one would be here for a while yet. No harm in taking a brief nap.

  “I never imagined ‑‑ I mean, the intensity. How hot, and velvet dark, and scary, and wonderful… I’m so glad we tried that.”

  He leaned close enough to kiss her cheek. “Me too, Miss Vee. Me too.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Content in her sunny spot on the window seat, Val ran her fingers through her hair and stretched. Her body felt warm and loose ‑‑ and achy in a way that drew her thoughts back to deliciously forbidden activities. Every time she glanced up at Ian ‑‑ the thatch of blond hair hanging over one eye, the tilt to the corners of his mouth when he laughed, the smoldering heat behind his ocean green eyes ‑‑ she flashed back to scenes from earlier in the day.

  As the others fussed over how much salt to put in the chowder, she enjoyed the easy camaraderie. She’d opted out of picnic preparations to do some career research. Curious, she entered in new search terms on Ian’s laptop ‑‑ editor, historical, journal ‑‑ and came up with several hits in New York. “You know, Ian, if you really want to get back into editing, there are positions in New York.”

  “If you try to get him to move away, we’ll have to revoke your most-favored friend status.” Abby settled beside her on the window seat and tugged at a lock of Val’s hair.

  “Don’t worry.” Jeremy leaned down and nibbled behind Abby’s ear, their dark heads nestled close. “Ian can’t tear himself away from the ocean.”

  “True enough.” Ian shifted the abandoned laptop to the floor so he could slide in beside Val, sandwiching her between him and Abby. Dressed for the swim they planned to take later, he looked downright edible in his blue trunks and unbuttoned white cotton shirt. She brushed her fingers over the fine, golden hair covering his sun-browned chest.

  “I’ll be in Boston for a couple of weeks later this month to help Rochelle evaluate interns and come up with a topic list. Eileen Channing, the editor who filled my spot, is unhappy in Boston. Can’t hurt to mention the New York jobs to her when I’m in town.�
��

  Val tried to digest the fact that he wouldn’t be around for a couple of weeks. If she felt uneasy about a brief absence, how hard would it be when she moved at the end of the summer?

  “You keep frowning like that, Miss Vee” ‑‑ Ian leaned close to whisper in her ear ‑‑ “and I’m going to carry you upstairs and find a way to make you smile. I’d be partial to having my cock back inside your tight little ass.”

  A wave of heat crept up her chest and flooded her face, but despite her embarrassment, the reference to their lovemaking was enough to soak her panties. She felt a similar ambivalence toward tonight’s bacchanalian festivities. Thinking about what the night might hold made her blush ‑‑ but also made her hot as hell.

  “If Brenda will let you out of the shop, I’d love it if you’d spend some time in Boston with me while I’m there. You haven’t eaten at Ishmael’s yet, and Tyler and Abby will be offended if I don’t bring you there soon.”

  When Ian tickled her ribs, she nudged his hand away and turned to Tyler, who was chopping walnuts at the center island. “Why’d you name the restaurant Ishmael’s?”

  “My idea.” Abby blew Tyler a kiss, and he made a show of licking his lips before he returned the gesture. “I’m a Melville fan. Hey, you ask a lot of questions about us, but you don’t talk about yourself much.”

  “Sure I do. I’m sure you’re sick about hearing me moan about my career crisis.”

  “Doesn’t count.” Abby drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. “Ian told you about Kevin and his mom, and that’s not something he’s shared with anyone outside this room. You have a way of getting him to open up, but you never talk about your own family.”

  When Abby slid an arm around her, Val resisted the urge to pull away and hide. Words tangled and twisted inside her as she tried to decide how to respond to Abby’s question.

  Perhaps sensing her discomfort, Tyler set down a bucket of clams, wiped his hands on a dish towel, and crouched down in front of her. “Seems only fair to give you the nutshell version on us first.”