Fighting the Undertow Read online

  With his parting came the imprint of a thought, as if he’d whispered in her ear. Please, don’t hurt him.

  Still shaking, Val pushed past Abby, strode back to the kitchen, grabbed her purse, fixed Ian with a glare that promised dire consequences if he followed her, and bolted out the door.

  * * * * *

  “Thanks for coming.” Ian set down the picnic basket and spread his towel on the sand by the water.

  “Even considering the extenuating circumstances, it was rude to run out on you like that this morning. I don’t usually panic, but…”

  “Abby explained that you ran into Kevin, literally, in the hallway. I’m sorry. I should have explained before you spent the night.”

  “Yep.” Val tossed her towel beside his and sat on the cool sand. The tide was out, and with the water as still as glass, the moon cast an unbroken reflection. “I’m listening.” Damned if she was going to make this easy for him.

  Ian took a bottle of wine from the basket, found a couple of plastic cups, and poured. “I’m sorry.” With a heavy sigh, he handed her a cup of wine. “Kevin died four years ago. We were in a car accident together. I lived. Kev didn’t.”

  Even in the moonlight, she could see the pain on his face. She touched his arm, offering what little comfort she could.

  “I can’t explain how or why he can visit. I’m not religious, never used to believe in an afterlife. But…” He shrugged. “He visits my younger brother, Jon, too. Kev was the middle child, the peacemaker. As far as we can tell, he’s never dropped in on our parents.”

  Judging from the pain in his voice, Ian’s grief raged fresh and raw, never mind the years that had passed since his brother’s death. Val stroked his arm as he sipped his wine.

  “Is the ghost a deal breaker, or are you still game for taking things ‘one day at a time’?”

  Oh, hell, she’d worked with the criminally insane and come out unscathed; who was she to balk at a wandering spirit? “No, he’s not a deal breaker. I’m sorry, Ian. About your brother.”

  Ian moved closer and rested his hand on her knees. “There’s more. I won’t pretend I’m an easy person to be with.”

  “One step at a time, remember? I think I’ve heard enough for tonight.” Half afraid he’d launch into an explanation concerning the weirdness she’d sensed between him and his friends, she placed her cup on the sand and got to her feet. “How about a moonlight swim?”

  “Sure.” As he tossed his cup into the picnic hamper, he hesitated. “I don’t suppose you’ve ever made love in the ocean?”

  As in, let’s get naked outdoors and fuck like dolphins? Hell, no. Stalling for time, she wasn’t sure how to answer. Haven’t tried it yet, but I’d love to? No way in hell? “Um, is this one of those risky behaviors you were referring to last night?”

  “Only if we run into a horny shark.” Chuckling, Ian traced his fingers along her thigh. “Come on, open yourself to new experiences.”

  Why the hell not? Trying not to answer her own question, Val stripped off her swimsuit and tugged off Ian’s trunks. The beach was deserted at this time of night, so no one would report them for indecent exposure.

  Good Lord, Ian was beautiful. His pale gold hair seemed to glow with a light of its own, and in the shadowy moonlight, nothing distracted her from seeing the strong lines of his body. As she watched, his erection seemed to gain another inch.

  “Hang on a minute.” He rummaged in the basket and handed her a foil packet. “It’s next to impossible to do this in the water.”

  Enjoying the absolute delinquency of the situation, she ripped open the packet and smoothed the condom over the thick shaft. “You’ve done this before?”

  “You’re surprised? I’m a swimmer, and I own a beach house. Seems to me it’d be a waste not to take full advantage.” He hummed under his breath as she rolled the condom down to the base of his cock and tugged playfully at his balls.

  “Come on. Let’s see if we can stir up some sex-starved sharks.” Despite her attempt at levity, Val’s heart pounded against her ribs. If she didn’t get into the water soon, she felt like she might experience spontaneous combustion. Or at least spontaneous orgasm.

  Laughing, he followed as she raced toward the water. At low tide, only gentle swells marred the glasslike effect of the slumbering ocean. The June night was muggy enough that she enjoyed the sudden chill on her overheated skin as ripples lapped against her shins, then her thighs. They waded deeper, and when the water covered their hips, Ian lifted her and pressed her close. Instinctively, she brought her legs up and locked them around his waist.

  He found her lips, his kisses almost desperate. She understood that talking about his brother had drained him, and she suspected he’d use the fierceness of sex to cover feelings too painful to bear. Hungry to taste him, she nipped his upper lip, then snaked her tongue along the contours of his mouth, probing and caressing.

  Ian pulled away, his breathing quick and uneven. “I hope you weren’t expecting a lot of foreplay tonight.”

  “Come back here.” Hell, she couldn’t wait to feel him inside her.

  Former therapist turned sex-starved nympho. Maybe it was the shock of seeing the ghost earlier, or the risk that someone would wander along the beach and discover them, but the rush of adrenaline channeled itself as pure lust.

  He kissed her, harder than before, and she moaned against his lips. Hell, what would happen when she came, if he had her moaning already? He brushed his cheek against her face, the friction of razor stubble burning her skin, then captured her mouth in a kiss that had her on the edge of climax in less than three seconds. The cool water lapping at her body did nothing to put out the fire. If anything, the heady smell of the ocean and the gentle caress of the waves drove her higher.

  “Now. Please, if you have any mercy, now!” Impatient past all tolerance, she squirmed, thrashing in the water.

  “Easy, I’ve got you.” Grabbing her hips, he maneuvered her until he was poised to enter. With a single, graceful movement, he buried himself to the hilt.

  “Let me move. I want to move.” Val tried to break free, but Ian held her hips so tight, she couldn’t do more than wiggle in his arms. With her legs wrapped around him and the water turning their bodies slick and slippery, she couldn’t gain any leverage.

  “Slow down. We’ve got all night.” With that, he used his hands to lift and lower her on his cock, setting a slow, torturous rhythm. “Think you’re ready to behave if I let go of your hips? I want this to last. No frantic lunges.”

  “Promise.” The water coursed around her, and her nipples felt like painful little diamonds in the chill. She needed to move, desperately. If he wanted it slow, she’d cooperate, so long as she could escape the frustrating limitation of his hands holding her hips in place.

  “Hold on to my shoulders.”

  She gripped him harder with her legs and locked her arms around his neck as he moved his hands to her back. Hungry for contact with his warm skin, she latched onto his collarbone and nibbled her way to his neck. She rocked against him, trying to maintain the damnably slow rhythm he’d set.

  Everything in her wanted to thrash against him, grab his shoulders, and use her arms to raise herself, then thrust down so his cock slid hard and fast against burning folds of skin. But she settled for small, tantalizing movements, rocking against him with the ebb and flow of the gentle waves.

  “No one can see us out here, but sound carries across the water, so whatever you do, don’t scream.”

  “I am so not a screamer.”

  “Hmmph. Seemed like you made a decent amount of noise last night.” With a swift movement, Ian captured her nipple and pressed it between his thumb and forefinger.

  At the stab of fiery sensation, Val bit down on his shoulder. As he rolled the puckered tip between his fingers, she forgot to move, letting waves of sensation roll over her.

  “Like that?”

  “More!” Be careful what you ask for, Val.

  When he rai
sed his other hand, captured the second ice-hard tip of flesh, and pinched, her breath escaped in a whoosh. Only the fear of being discovered kept her quiet. Just when she thought she couldn’t stand the icy-hot darts radiating out from her breasts to every nerve fiber in her body, he soothed his hands along her belly and then pressed them at the small of her back.

  At his gentle urging, she began to move again, sliding up and down the length of his shaft. She felt weightless in the salt water, all sensation and urgency. He tilted against her, driving deeper as he massaged her ass.

  “So good.”

  “What about this? Is this good too?” He traced his thumb over her tailbone, then between the cheeks of her ass. When he reached the soft pucker of her anus, he shifted his hand to press lightly with the pad of his finger.

  Somewhere, a little voice whispered that she shouldn’t like this so much. Shouldn’t enjoy the pressure of his finger tracing the tight ring of muscle. But as he started to press against the opening, just enough to send chills of anticipation racing up her spine, she decided to ditch the rules tonight.

  “Yes. That’s good too.”

  A shiver of apprehension raced along her spine at the thought of what he was about to do. Before she could change her mind, he slipped a finger past the resistant ring of muscle and buried it deep in her ass. The salt water stung her skin, and she froze, afraid to move.

  “Okay?”

  While he waited for an answer, he buried his cock so tight, she felt like she’d explode. Unable to find her voice, she nodded, biting hard on his shoulder in an attempt not to cry out. For what seemed like forever, she hovered on the edge of climax, but the unfamiliar pressure in her ass held her back. Whimpering in frustration, she pressed her hips hard against him, driving down in complete disregard of the burning sensation when his finger pressed deeper into untried flesh.

  “Damn. I’m so close!”

  “Shh. It’s okay. I’m going to push you over the edge, but I want you to bite my shoulder again so you don’t scream.”

  No longer certain of the validity of her insistence that she wasn’t a screamer, she complied. Unsure what he intended to do next, she clasped her hands behind his back, more to keep herself from shaking than out of necessity. Cool water lapped at their shoulders, and with her legs anchored around his waist, she felt weightless, supported by the ocean.

  “Ready?” Without waiting for a response, Ian slid his free hand up to her breast and captured her nipple between his fingertips.

  Before Val could fully register the darts of pain and pleasure radiating across her breast, she felt the pressure of a second finger against her anus, just shy of penetrating. Common sense seemed to dictate that she detach her teeth from his shoulder and tell him she didn’t want to do this. It was going to hurt. But as he angled his pelvis to press his cock farther inside her, she bit harder at the slope of his shoulder and held her breath.

  “Sweet, sweet Val.” As he tensed against her, no doubt fighting for control, he eased a second finger deep into her ass.

  She would have screamed if she hadn’t been biting his shoulder for all she was worth. But a strangled moan was all she could manage. As he scissored his fingers outward, stretching reluctant flesh, she came so hard the spasms wrenched along her spine and made it difficult to catch her breath.

  “Again.” As Ian shuddered and throbbed deep inside her, he withdrew his fingers, easing them free of the tight channel.

  She came again, whimpering like a puppy against an orgasm so intense, it left her shaking in his arms. After withdrawing gently, he slipped an arm under her legs, cradled another against her back, and held her like a baby. Her face pressed against his chest, she snuggled against him as he waded toward shore.

  “I’m sorry. I never meant to be that rough with you.”

  “No, it’s okay.” She stung in places she didn’t know could hurt like that, and every muscle in her body ached from the wrenching release of her orgasms. But she’d never felt so safe, or so content, as she did cradled in Ian’s arms with the ocean around her.

  “It’s not okay. I was upset about Kevin. I never should have suggested sex tonight.”

  “I make my own decisions, Ian, and I wanted to play. My past relationships may not have prepared me for the wilder side of sex.” Talk about an understatement. “But I want to see where we can go together.”

  She’d never felt anything as right as his arms around her, or seen anything as beautiful as the outline of his face etched in moonlight. However this ended, she’d never forget the taste of ocean salt on his skin.

  “Shit.”

  Startled by the concern in his voice, she turned her head toward shore, curious to see what had caught his attention. Twisting out of his arms, she slithered into the shallow water, hoping the couple on the beach hadn’t noticed them.

  “It’s just Nathan and Jeremy. I should have thought to walk down the beach before we got into the water. We’re too near the path from the house, and no doubt they’re here for the same reason we are.”

  Ian didn’t seem to have any problems with his friends seeing him naked. Val paddled alongside him, and when the water became too shallow to swim any farther, she stopped.

  Having Jeremy walk in on them lying naked in bed the morning after was one thing. But encountering them after what she’d just done with Ian, with her body still flushed from sex, was another. It didn’t help that Nathan and Jeremy weren’t wearing any clothes. Apparently, Ian’s guess that they were down here for a little midnight beach sex was on target.

  “Hey, guys, can you turn around so Val can get out of the water and find her towel? She’s suffering from a sudden attack of modesty.”

  Without answering, both men turned to face the dunes, and Ian sprinted out of the water to retrieve the towels. Val refused to surface until he returned to wrap her in a warm nest of cotton. Although she wanted nothing more than to run up to the cottage, her gravity-stricken legs refused to cooperate.

  With as much dignity as she could muster, she walked past Jeremy and Nathan, not bothering to wait for Ian, who’d paused to dispose of the condom and retrieve the picnic basket.

  “Good night.” There, the tone of studied nonchalance was a nice touch. They were down here for the same reason she’d been, after all. No reason to be embarrassed.

  “’Night, Val.” If Nathan’s voice held just a hint of amusement, well, who could blame him? Val had to admit there was a comic element to the whole situation.

  “Good night.” Lowering his voice, Jeremy added, “Past time for that talk, Ian, my friend.”

  “Now’s not the time.” Ian’s voice held a clear warning, but Jeremy’s retort followed fast and angry.

  “She’ll figure things out soon enough. Or are the rules different now?”

  Shivering at the note of pain rippling beneath Jeremy’s challenge, Val tried not to dwell on what he meant by that. She quickened her pace, forcing her tired legs to propel her toward the cover of the dunes.

  Chapter Four

  Val scowled at the pile of trade journals and partially written cover letters. Seeking a distraction, she glanced around the room, but the lacy curtains and floral watercolor paintings only served as a reminder that her life was in limbo. Brenda’s decorating style was motivation enough to find a permanent job and get a place of her own.

  For the past couple of weeks, she’d spent more nights than not at Ian’s place, and she hadn’t made any progress with her career search. Ian seemed frustrated that he hadn’t gotten past the first couple of chapters of his book, and he’d sounded relieved when she suggested they spend this weekend apart, working on their respective projects.

  Val made it halfway through an article on careers in geriatric psychology, enough to decide listening to the problems of the elderly wasn’t enough of a career change, before the page blurred. She let her thoughts drift back over the past few nights with Ian.

  He seemed to be trying to make up for how rough he’d been that night on t
he beach. Since then, he’d treated her to hours of foreplay, introducing every square inch of her skin to the tender ministrations of his tongue. Caressing her so expertly that once, she’d come at the mere touch of his fingertips to the sensitive spot at the back of her knee.

  But enough was enough. She wasn’t made of glass. Hell, she’d enjoyed herself when they’d tangled in the waves. It’s not as if she’d been begging him to stop. Last night, she’d told him the next time they got together, she expected to see the real Ian, not his sensitive twin. And wasn’t anticipating that as distracting as hell?

  When the phone rang, she abandoned the cluttered desk and dived to pick up on the first ring. “’Lo?”

  “Hey, sexy.”

  Oh boy, the perfect excuse for procrastination. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be writing?”

  “I made it halfway through the third chapter, but I’m more interested in you than the plight of the suffragists tonight.”

  “You could always go back to editing.” She suspected that Ian’s plans to write a book on twentieth-century American history had been more of a way to cope with the divorce than a burning ambition.

  “Believe me, I’m tempted. But with my old job filled, that’d mean relocating to New York, and I’m a New England boy at heart. Let’s talk about something more interesting, like what you’re wearing.”

  She glanced down at her gray T-shirt and ratty denim cutoffs. “Wouldn’t be what you want to hear.”

  “Take it off, then.”

  Say what? Oh, hell, he was trying to initiate phone sex. “Why don’t we make a deal? For each item of clothing I take off, you answer one of my questions.”

  Could be an interesting way to pull a little information out of him. Abby hadn’t been kidding when she’d told Val Ian didn’t like to talk about himself. She didn’t know much more about him now than when they first met.

  “Deal.”

  “Hang on, let me lock the door.” As she clicked the latch into place and plopped back down on the bed, a mix of apprehension and anticipation sent flutters of heat across her skin. “First question. How did you and Abby meet?” Unsure what to make of their friendship, she was curious about the history.