Fighting the Undertow Read online

  “I also want to know more about you, but when I mention Kevin, you put up walls, and I’m suspecting you’d do the same if I asked about your ex-wife.”

  Though her words were confrontational, her voice shook, and Ian considered whether he might have pushed too far. She may have thought she wanted to see the real him, but he suspected leaving the handcuffs sitting out on the center of the bed may not have been one of his brighter ideas.

  “That was a low blow, but since I know you’re scared and trying to distract me, I’ll let it pass.” Ian smoothed his hands across her bare shoulders, but she flinched and pulled away.

  “I am so not scared. I’ve just never done anything so…”

  “Kinky?”

  “No, having your fingers in my ass was kinkier. More like submissive.”

  So that was it. She didn’t want to surrender control. Much as he hated to admit it, her uneasiness affected him like an aphrodisiac. The more she hesitated, the more he wanted to see her wearing those cuffs.

  “What if I wear them first?”

  “What?” Glancing at the handcuffs, then back at him, she took a step toward the bed.

  “You heard me. It wouldn’t be the first time.” He smiled, remembering some of the wilder games he’d played with his friends.

  Val sat at the end of the bed, facing him, with her back to the handcuffs. “Can I ask you something?”

  Oh, shit. Like leaving the handcuffs out on the bed, his “wouldn’t be the first time” comment was a dumb move. Did he really want to explain his relationship with his friends tonight? Hell, no.

  “Sure, what?”

  She shifted her weight, as if trying to find a comfortable spot, and pushed a mass of curls away from her face. “You told me earlier that you and Abby…” She reached for his hand. “I was just wondering, tonight, you and Jeremy, I mean when you were wrestling, and when he…”

  Hoping this wouldn’t be a deal breaker, Ian nodded. “Yes, I’ve had sex with Jeremy.”

  As he waited for her response, he tried not to think about how upset he’d be if she couldn’t handle that piece of information. How devastated he’d be if she bolted. Something tightened around his heart, making it hard to breathe.

  Maybe he should have told her at the start. But he’d had the sense she knew something was going on with him and his friends and hadn’t been ready for the details.

  “Okay.” Val offered a tentative smile. “And yes, I’ll wear the handcuffs, if you do first.”

  He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until it escaped in a whoosh of relief. “Thanks for being open-minded about me and Jeremy. That means a lot to me. More than I can say.”

  He suppressed the urge to continue. Too soon to tell her how much she meant to him. How he thought of her when he woke up in the morning, and as he was falling asleep at night. How she invaded his dreams.

  None of it made sense. He still felt the gaping tear, as if someone had ripped out half his heart, from when Lisa left. But he couldn’t stop wanting Val. Hell, he might as well be honest with himself. He needed Val. She’d gotten into his system like a drug, potent and intoxicating. Pushing aside the uncomfortable thoughts, he met her sleepy-eyed gaze.

  “Now, will you please help me out of my damn shorts? I’m getting a bit constricted.”

  Val laughed and reached for the zipper. With a deft motion, she stripped off both his shorts and his boxers, and his cock sprang free. “I’ll kiss it better soon.”

  In his opinion, she was, at this point, way overdressed, no matter how good she looked in that strapless little number, but he wasn’t inclined to protest. “Here.” He picked up the handcuffs and inserted the key, then lay back on the bed. “You’re in charge. Tell me what to do.”

  That ought to satisfy her desire to stay in control. By the time it was her turn to wear the cuffs, he’d make sure she was so aroused, she wouldn’t care if he bound her to the bed with chains. His cock gave an approving twitch at the thought.

  “Would you mind if I, ah…” She raised his hands over his head and snapped one of the cuffs closed around his left wrist. Tugging his arm closer to the head of the bed, she threaded the other cuff through the bars of the headboard and grasped his right wrist. “Do this?”

  “I said you’re in charge. I’m not about to back out now.” His heart rate sped up as she secured the second cuff and placed the key on the bedside table. She smelled like honeysuckle and sex, an intoxicating combination. He hoped she didn’t plan to tease him for long, because he didn’t think he could tolerate much of a delay.

  “I’m going downstairs to get something, but I promise, I’ll be right back.” She bent down and placed her lips around the head of his cock, probed a little with her tongue, then withdrew. “You’ll get the rest when I get back.”

  As she left the room, he shifted restlessly, and the handcuffs clinked against the brass bar of the headboard. Come on, Val. I’m dying here. What in hell could she be up to? He sighed with relief when he heard her footsteps on the stairs.

  “Hey, sorry I took so long.” Grinning, she set a jar of honey on the table by the bed.

  Delighted that she seemed inclined to leave the light on, he watched as she unzipped her dress. He inhaled sharply when she revealed the little strip of black lace that passed as a bra and the tiny black thong. “You’re so sexy. I could look at you all night. Except at some point, I’d lose control and come all over my belly, and that would be a sorry waste.”

  Smiling, she unhooked her bra and slipped out of the thong. “Don’t worry, I won’t let that happen. Now raise your legs. I need to slide the comforter out from under you.”

  He shifted his weight as she pulled the sea green comforter out from underneath him. The brush of silky cloth against his skin drove his temperature higher.

  “I hope you like honey.” She grabbed the jar and twisted the lid.

  “Love the stuff.” Especially on my balls. Do you think you could smear a little there and lick it off? Oh, yeah, like he could say that to her.

  As she trailed a sticky line across his lips with her pinky finger, he nipped at the spot just behind her fingernail. The honey tasted rich and sweet, and its scent mingled with the smell of her shampoo, something herbal that made him think of meadows.

  She stretched out on top of him like a warm blanket. The honey tugged at his lips as she kissed him, and he stifled a groan at the thought of how that would feel elsewhere on his body.

  Her tongue was sweet and hot, a sticky, erotic delight as she probed and explored his mouth. Hoping she’d get the hint, he arched his hips against her thighs, pressing his cock into her warm skin.

  “Impatient?” She sat up, reached for the jar, and drizzled honey onto his nipples and across the pale hair covering his chest.

  He watched as she hovered over him, running the tip of her tongue along her lower lip as she eyed his honey-coated chest. Her breasts were perfect, just large enough to overflow his palms when he held them, and he tugged at the handcuffs, cursing the fact that he couldn’t reach out and brush his fingers over her taut nipples.

  “Oh, hell, Miss Vee. You’re killing me.” When she nipped the sensitive tips of his nipples, he felt moisture beading at the head of his cock. As she lashed her tongue back and forth, lapping honey off his skin, his hips rose off the mattress, and he groaned.

  “Soon.” She scooted down between his legs and trailed her fingertip from the base of his cock up to the tip.

  “Condoms are in the top drawer of the bedside table.” Forgetting his restraints, he tried to sit up and winced as the metal cut into his wrists.

  Val rested a hand on his shoulder. “Lie back and relax. I’ve got it.”

  As she slid open the drawer, he experienced a moment of panic. Yes, there were condoms in the top drawer. Lots and lots and lots of condoms. Abby’s favorite ribbed variety. Extra long for Jeremy. Condoms in every flavor known to mankind. A neon-glow pack he’d forgotten to clear out after Lisa left. The trusty ol
d Trojans Nathan favored…

  “Hell, you must have been a Boy Scout.”

  Ian snorted at the thought. “You have a dirty mind, woman. I was, in fact, an Eagle Scout. I assure you, our activities were nothing but wholesome and all-American.”

  As Val sorted through the mess in the drawer, the corners of her lips twitched into a grin. “I meant you take the ‘Be prepared’ motto seriously.”

  How was he supposed to answer that? “Um, choose whatever you want, just not the neon ones. Lisa left those behind. In fact, could you toss them into the trash for me?”

  “Done.” The box landed in the wastebasket with a thud. Val scowled at the drawer, then turned to Ian.

  “I haven’t been with anyone else since I met you, Val.”

  She nodded, and from the look on her face, he guessed she was starting to suspect his sex life may not have been limited to Abby and Jeremy before she showed up. The cornucopia of condoms served as a strong hint. Would she run when she knew the truth about their cozy little group? If she didn’t ask for more information soon, he’d have to tell her before Jeremy found a not so subtle way to raise the subject.

  “Okay, neither have I. Not that I’ve had much of an opportunity, but I haven’t been picking up lifeguards on the beach or anything.” She grinned and slipped a finger into the honey. “Spread your legs.”

  Oh, boy, three of his favorite words. “Yes, ma’am.” When she drizzled honey onto his balls, his cock jumped with impatience.

  Val knelt beside him and ripped open the packet she’d selected. “Thought I’d try cinnamon.” With deft movements, she smoothed the red latex over his cock.

  And then her tongue was on his balls, licking honey like a hungry kitten. He squirmed under her mouth, lifting his hips to press against the curve of her chin. Tentative at first, she soon settled into a rhythmic stroke up and down his cock that sent streaks of fire racing up his spine.

  She smelled like a garden on a hot summer day, and the desire to tangle his hands in her curls was so strong, he twisted against the handcuffs until his wrists stung. Driving him higher and higher, she nipped, sucked, and teased until he moaned under his breath.

  “Hang on.” He dug his teeth into his lip. “I don’t want to come until I’m inside you.”

  “Then maybe it’s time to switch places.”

  Before Ian could protest, she reached for the key and sprung the metal cuffs to free his wrists. With a murmur of concern, she lifted his hands and massaged the raw area where his struggling had abraded the skin on his wrists.

  “I guess the leather restraints would have been a better idea tonight. I didn’t plan to struggle. You make me crazy, though.” Wondering if he’d once again volunteered too much information, he relaxed when she seemed to take it in stride.

  “Leather?”

  “Lined with fur.”

  He shivered as she lifted one wrist, then the next, and kissed the red marks where the metal had pressed into his skin.

  “Would you like that better?” He wasn’t about to let her back out of their deal. He’d gone first ‑‑ now, it was her turn.

  “I think I would. I have a hunch you might drive me a little crazy, too. Marks on my wrists would be tough to explain to Brenda.”

  “Leather it is.” Before she could reconsider, he grabbed the handcuffs and slipped them into the bottom drawer of the nightstand, plucking out the leather restraints before she had a chance to see what else was in the drawer. The plentiful condoms were enough of a shock for one night.

  Eyeing the thick straps and the slender black ties attached to them, Val scooted back toward the pillows. Sensing her uneasiness, he set the restraints down on the nightstand and slid his arm around her shoulders. As he kissed her neck, then her lips, she relaxed against him.

  “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.” He wondered if that was true.

  Not in bed ‑‑ he’d meant every word of that. But would they hurt each other if this didn’t work out? Were they already in so deep they’d leave each other drowning if they parted? She nuzzled closer as he stroked the nape of her neck, tilted her head back as he stroked her cheek.

  “Hey, there’s something I want to ask you before I’ve got you all tied up. I don’t want you to feel coerced.” He hadn’t intended to ask her. In fact, he’d argued with Abby all afternoon, insisting he couldn’t. But all of a sudden, it didn’t seem like such a big deal.

  “Sure, what?” She wiggled closer against his thigh, until the wet heat of her pussy spread against his skin.

  “Hard to concentrate with you distracting me like that.” Gently wrapping his fingers around her hips, he lifted her off his thigh and snuggled her back against his chest. “My dad throws a big bash for my mother’s birthday every year. Abby usually goes with me, but this year, she’s refusing.”

  He frowned as he recalled how stubbornly Abby had maintained that, if anyone went with him, it should be Val. He’d insisted the last thing he wanted to do right now was inflict his family on her. Not to mention, it would seem like he was bringing her home to meet the family, and it was way too soon for that. But Abby wouldn’t back down. And damn it, she knew he didn’t have the guts to face his parents alone.

  “It’s coming up pretty soon, next Saturday, so I’ll understand if you’ve got other plans. My family…well, it’s not always a pleasant event.”

  Val squirmed around to face him and cupped her hand under his chin. She stared at him, her stormy blue eyes the only hint of indecision. Uncomfortable under her gaze, he bent his head to her shoulder, pressing against the warmth of her neck.

  “I don’t have a dress.”

  “That’s the least of your problems. If you’re willing to face the dragon lady and the corporate raider, the least I can do is buy you a dress.”

  “I take it you and your parents are close?”

  He chuckled at her wry sarcasm. Hell, it wouldn’t do to forget he’d gotten mixed up with a therapist. Next thing he knew, she’d have him sharing the whole story. He’d rather pour the rest of the honey all over himself and lie down on an anthill.

  “Let’s just say the Winters clan would never win a Family of the Year contest.”

  “Sounds interesting.”

  “So, you’ll come?” Aggravated with the note of boyish eagerness in his voice, he found her nipples and pinched, hoping the distraction would cover his lapse.

  “Why, yes, Billy Bob, I’d be plumb pleased to accompany you to the prom.”

  Ian winced, but figured this wouldn’t be the last time he found himself on the wrong side of her keen wit. “Let’s see who’s laughing when you’re the one tied to the headboard. And FYI, that was simple relief you detected a moment ago. I’d rather occupy a prison cell with an ax murderer named Thor than face my parents without reinforcements.”

  Damn, she regarded him with what he’d come to think of as her “shrink look.” He’d have been better off letting her think he was insecure and overeager to have her accept his invitation.

  “On your back, Miss Vee. Let’s see how smug you look with your pretty hands stretched up over your head.”

  She squealed as he lifted her and spread her in the desired position, one arm stretched toward each side of the headboard. As he reached for the restraints, she shivered.

  “Hey…” He trailed his hand over her ribs. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t like.”

  As he buckled the leather straps around her wrists, she shifted her head on the pillow and offered an uncertain smile. But when he reached for the attached ties and started to secure the restraints to the headboard, she bolted upright.

  “I can’t. I thought I’d be able to do this, but I’m not ready.”

  “Hey, take it easy.” He rubbed his hands over her back. “What if we agree on what I’ll do while you’re bound? Or better yet, what if you get to call the shots? I’ll tie you up, but I promise to do whatever you ask?”

  “Really?”

  Ian grinned at the expression of
curiosity that flitted across her face. “Yes, really.” He patted her ass. “You have issues with relinquishing control, don’t you, Miss Shrink?”

  “Ugh, don’t call me that. I’m a psychologist, not a psychiatrist, so I don’t even think it applies. As for the rest, yes, I have a tough time letting someone else take charge. Dean thought he knew what was best for me, and after a while, I stopped fighting it. When I left, I swore I’d never let that happen again.”

  Reaching to brush her hair away from her face, he wished he could soothe away the bitterness behind her words. He hadn’t realized until now that she’d been hurt as badly as he had. That in his own way, Dean had done as much damage as Lisa.

  “Let’s play it like this.” He eased her down onto the mattress and lifted her left arm. Keeping his movements slow, he secured the restraint strap to the lowest bar of the brass headboard.

  “I’ll tie your wrists, but I’ll release you any time you ask.” He reached for her right wrist and knotted the long strap attached to the leather cuff to the other side of the headboard. “And you call the shots. I won’t do anything without your command.”

  Val shuddered at the word “command,” and he smiled.

  “Okay. I’ll give it a try. How about we start with kissing?” As he bent to nibble her chin and trace his tongue over her lips, she gave each of the restraints an experimental tug, moaning softly when she realized she was securely bound.

  “You like that, don’t you?” Not expecting an answer, he slid his tongue along her teeth.

  “Oh!” She thrashed underneath him as he sucked and nibbled her lip.

  “You’ve got to ask, remember? Tell me what you want.” Before the night was done, she’d have to verbalize some things she might feel more comfortable leaving unsaid.

  “My breasts? Please?”

  “Your breasts what?” Feigning confusion, he stared at the peachy pink areolas and the hard tips of flesh at the center.

  “Please. Suck. My. Nipples.” No mistaking the impatience in her glare.

  “Well, now, Miss Vee, was that so hard?”

  He settled against her side and circled her nipple with his tongue. When he suspected she was ready to scream in frustration, he lowered his head and latched on for all he was worth. As he suckled and played the sweet flesh back and forth between his teeth, Val arched her back and whimpered.